10. Iron Chef/Godzilla crossover. Chef: Chin. Theme ingredient:
Meat. A chunk of it that is "as big as this car". Gimmick: Radioactive breath
grilling. Outcome: No score possible as the kitchen stadium goes down in
flames.
9. Iron Chef/Titanic crossover. Chef: Sakai. Theme ingredient: Shark.
Gimmick: The dumplings sank slowly in the soup. Outcome: Victory goes to
the heroic tetsujin, who can afford to use a lot more truffles and foie
gras than the poor Irish challenger.
8. Iron Chef/Oprah Winfrey crossover. Chef: Nakamura. Theme
ingredient: Velveeta. Gimmick: "Men whose mothers dressed them funny, on
the next Oprah." Outcome: Nakamura retreats from the kitchen stadium in
defeat. Kishi gave a big thumbs down to the Velveeta sushi.
7. Iron Chef/Johnny Sato crossover. Chef: Morimoto. Theme ingredient:
Pez. Gimmick: "Giant Robot, fire your nipple rockets at the rice cooker!"
Outcome: The young, heroic tetsujin saves the day by making an origiami
folded Pez dispenser out of an American newspaper.
6. Iron Chef/Happy Days crossover. Chef: Kobe. Challenging chef: Pat
Morita. Theme ingredient: Hamburgers. Gimmick: Tom Bosley looks at Kaga
and loses the rest of his hair. Outcome: Kobe creates Hamburger
Spaghetti with foie gras and truffles, and wins by a narrow
margin.
5. Iron Chef/Jacques Cousteau crossover. Chef: Michiba. Theme
ingredient: Giant squid. Gimmick: The theme ingredient strangles Kaga as
he unveils it. Outcome: After Kaga is rescued, he mentions suavely that
Michiba's "odori squid sushi" gave him intense personal satisfaction and
he is pleased to announce the tetsujin's victory.
4. Iron Chef/Wild Kingdom crossover. Chef: Chin. Theme
ingredient: Antelope. Gimmick: Shooting the critter onstage, while
Marlon Perkins narrates in the background. Outcome: Chin's stir fried
antelope liver cutlets with XO "Ekisojan" sauce excite the judges no end,
stirring comments of "Is he going to use the internal organs? I've never eaten
that before." The Tetsujin wears the "horns of victory" in the end.
3. Iron Chef/Geraldo crossover. Chef: Sakai. Theme ingredient:
Methamphetamines. Challenging chef: A KKK member. Gimmick: Major
fistfights break out in the Kitchen Stadium as the Klansman rudely insults
Sakai's ancestry and is carved into sushi by the agile chef's filleting
knife. Outcome: Lawsuits.
2. Iron Chef/McGuyver crossover. Chef: Nakamura. Theme ingredient:
Beer. Gimmick: The challenging chef completely rewires the Kitchen
Stadium, builds his own rice cooker from scratch and foils a major Yakuza
plot in the course of the hour. Outcome: Despite the dubiousness of his
beer-marinated salmon sushi and beer ice cream, Nakamura's creations still
look and taste a lot better than McGuyver's three dishes consisting of
french fries dipped in beer, beer croquettes and a beer and salami
sandwich.
And of course....
1. Iron Chef/South Park crossover. Chef: Sakai. Challenging chef:
"Chef". Theme ingredient: Cheesy Poofs. Gimmick: Chef seduces the
obligatory bimbo judge on the panel to get a better score. Outcome:
Kenny climbs down from the observer's box, lands in the malfunctioning ice
cream maker and dies there. Will they serve it anyways? The judges
decision is unanimous for Sakai, who manages to overwhelm the cheesiness of
the poofs with plenty of foie gras and truffles.
Return to the Bay Gourmet Iron Chef Page if you're interested in the
story of how I first got involved with Iron Chef fandom.
Extensive links to Iron Chef resources on the Web can be found at Ironchef.com, an excellent site maintained by Stephanie
Masumura.
Special thanks and credit to John Burkhart for the gong.
Challenge another honorable "Iron Chef" in our virtual Kitchen Stadium,
Iron English!
Meet the newest addition to our Virtual Kitchen Stadium, and read the challenge of Iron South. Will a spicy wind rock the kitchen stadium in a peppery
victory over the blandness of Iron English? Watch for the upcoming Battle Cheese and find
out!
Here are the rules for the Iron
Chef Drinking Game, courtesy of Jen Berktold and Chris
Zammarelli.
